For permanent healthy weight management your relationship with yourself and with food has to change. Ugh, that’s getting down to the core of the problem, and many people won’t want to take that journey. But you can do it, with these tips that will get you out of the mindset that you have to “fix” yourself and make you love yourself again.
You’re not broken. At your core, you don’t hate yourself. What you’ve done is trained yourself to be mean to yourself. How do you know when you’re being mean to yourself?
- If the way you talk to and about yourself makes you feel terrible… (“I’m so stupid, I’m such a loser, I can’t believe I let myself go…”)
- If you are obsessed with results and emotionally punish yourself for failures (“I hate myself for having that piece of birthday cake!”)
- If you feel guilty about choices you’ve made
- If you dwell on your mistakes
- If you are terrified that if you “slip” you’ll be right back to your old ways, and you are overly harsh with yourself
- If you negatively compare yourself to others (“oh sure, it’s easy for her to stay thin, she has the metabolism of a rabbit!”)
This mindset holds you back, because you want to be so proud of yourself. But then to have all of those conditioned thought habits threatening to sabotage your best efforts, it’s like haha, you really didn’t get rid of me…
To fix this mindset:
- Know your “Why.” What is the core reason you want to stay thin and healthy? One of the main reasons people overeat is because they are trying to fill a void; even if you lose all the weight and don’t address that void, you will ‘pad’ yourself against it in the future. The void could be feelings that you lack love, success, friendship, companionship, feeling attractive and desirable, mobility, physical energy, vitality, strength and stamina, or feeling fulfilled and satisfied with your life.
I encourage you to write down as many reasons you can why being thin is important to you. There is something magical about writing down your Why – your Why becomes real, not just a vague idea in your head but a real goal. Your Why can become a powerful motivator to keep the weight off instead of slipping back into your old patterns.
- Eat mindfully, to satisfy your body. Eat with the intention of supporting your body so that it can give you the best life experience. Nurture your body so that it is full of energy, strength, stamina, flexibility, and with all of your organs humming at peak performance. Make it a habit to eat slowly and mindfully from a gentle, compassionate place – eating moderate amounts of healthy food, and yes, enjoying the occasional treat… instead of eating out of boredom, habit or emotion.
- Listen to your body’s wisdom. Your body speaks to you all the time: not just by giving you hunger or thirst signals, or telling you when it’s tired or energised – but it also tells you which foods make it feel good, and which foods do not. Listen to your body! If your body is asking for activity but you sedate it with food, then your body isn’t getting what it needs. And if it is asking for water and you give it food (because the hunger and thirst signals are identical) then your body isn’t getting what it needs. Tune in to your body’s signals. Learn to trust your body to tell you what it needs (this is NOT the same as giving in to cravings for sweets or carbs – those are addictions and they come from the brain, not the body). Listen to your body, honor what it is telling you, and weight management will become easy.
- Spend time on what makes you feel alive, engaged and excited. Focus on what delights you, thrills you and fulfils you… and let that happiness inspire you to support your body along the way to your most wonderful dreams. This is so important! Having goals makes you feel like you have purpose… when you have a purpose you feel important and worthy of great self-care… and when you take great care of your body (when you make it a habit) you will find it easier to achieve your dreams and life a happy and fulfilled life.
These powerful self-love tips will help you develop a much better relationship with yourself and your body.